What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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