ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
