If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
