Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize