did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
