the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
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