So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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