Kiss
Puke
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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