next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
