Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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