Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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