Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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