But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
