and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I think people are normalizing furries
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
