Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
