Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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