And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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