i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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