Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
