HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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