Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize