We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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