I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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