I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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