her vagine was all disorganized.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
