My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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