Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
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