saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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