I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
