Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
