Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
