This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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