So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
