Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
