is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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