I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
