At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
