Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
