is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
