you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Randomize
