He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
