fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
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