when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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