did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
