i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
