Betty ford says i'm here all night
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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