Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
