it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
