I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Floor bacon is actually really good
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize