Her vagina should come with caution tape.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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