i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize