Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I could fuck to npr.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
