I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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