there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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