Me. At least after what I've been through.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
