She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
