we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
