You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize