ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
