I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
