dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
