I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
