I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
