I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
